On Belief in God
Belief in god is occasional. I only believe when I need to and need arises when there're things not within my control (or so I think). When good things happen and I don't think it happened because of my own doings, I call it luck. (in contrast when bad things happen/something goes wrong, I can see the loopholes very clearly, I can reason it was the consequence of my own choices/things I didn't do, so I blame myself and make a note of what not to do what to do, how to move forward etc.)
Coming back to luck, even though it might be related to randomness, probability and everything mathematical - everything scientific which explains the BEHAVIOUR, but WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF THE BEHAVIOUR? That is unknown. We don't know, hence we have beliefs and beliefs become essential for navigating the unknown. People don't like unknowns. The unknown needs a name, hence name is God. God is a constructive reality. It isn't necessary for survival, but its necessary for sanity.
Humans aren't cyborgs yet, so no matter how logical and coldly reasonable one tries to be, dissecting everything down to the deepest levels, the atoms chemicals whatever there is, it's impossible not to get emotional. One can't dissociate this emotional part from the brain. We created God because we felt helpless, we felt helpless because we can't switch on the logical part of our brain fast enough. And if you switch on the logic, the pure reasoning part "too" much, you start to fall. You began to spiral. Down into the darks of nihilism where nothing matters. This is bad. Too bad.
There's a fine line between nihilism and realism. Put optimism and hope in between, then you're good to go.
Because the bad feelings - sadness, despair, anger are quick to catch up to your brain. They are heavier. Chemically stronger than the good ones. We can't defy the body and the only way to avoid oneself going down that road is to create a functional truth.
God is hope. Hope is optimism. Optimism is God. They all are the same. Constructive realities. Anything, a voice, an imagination, a force - anything to lean on so your mind doesn't break - that's God.
There's no God at this moment for me. I don't need it. whenever I feel I do, I can voluntarily invoke the imagery (which becomes even easier when everybody around you is a theist so in desperate times, you think WHY NOT?)